I hate everything

Sorry, but this post is going to be a bit negative. My neck hurts. I feel like it's a form of carpal tunnel from sitting in front of the computer cuz that's all I've been doing. I wonder if it's just from looking down at the computer, but really what it's making me think of is how pain affects your mood. Oh, there's no reason really for me to be in a bad mood. Nothing terrible has happened, but this pain is just making me hate everything. I don't, really, and I'm aware that this coming from pain is not changing the emotion. I'm just so angry about everything because this pain is just ever-present. It's not the worst pain I've ever felt by far. It's not. It's just that it won't go away.

Muscles at the base of my neck are just hurting, and I know it's from sitting in front of the computer. Maybe I should take a minute and talk about where the pain is coming from. God, I don't know. Oh yeah yeah: I think it was such a simple thing, and it's caused such a problem I had the screen adjusted so that I could sit up straight in my chair and look at the computer at an angle that was not painful, and I was using it for weeks, and it was fine, and then I started having to do online classes during the lockdown, and because of that, I have changed the angle because the camera in a laptop computer is built-in, not angled to a face that would be in front of the screen it's so you have to change the angle of the screen to get the camera to point at you okay so when you do this the screen points down at you. To look at the screen later, you slump in your chair because you don't think to readjust it. You put your head at a weird angle and kind of curl your spine in strange ways. You don't realize you're doing it. Still, once you sit there for hours because there are no real jobs anymore, everybody's just sitting at home, and you don't even go out during the lockdown. So you're in front of this computer all day doing this weird slumping and spine curling, and pretty soon, your neck and shoulders are in just this excruciating pain. Now I've got to sit away from the computer for a while so that it can heal up. I guess that's the thing, and that has, in turn, caused me to just be so angry, and I'm trying to meditate and do all these things to stop succumbing to this anger, but the pain just makes you.

As you can see, I've got a cooling thing for the laptop because I'm on it so much. Trying to plan, do my online classes, and do other things without succeeding. It angles the keyboards, which is a little better. It keeps me from putting too much pressure on something. So it's doing a little bit better. You have to angle the screen back, but you really need to angle the screen up towards your face. Of course, I'm using what's supposed to be kitchen furniture for an office desk. My tiny studio apartment here in Hanoi does not actually have an office or a desk. That's the setup that has caused me to have such pain, but I think it was the angle of the screen because I was just fine for months using this before the lockdown. Just in the past week, this pain has just been getting worse and worse, so I've got to find some way to adjust it. I may just have to spend less time on the computer. I mean, the lockdown ended this week, so I can actually get outside to exercise during the day.