Crisis averted

 Well, thanks to everyone for indulging in my last post. It was quite a stressful time, and it's not entirely over, but I did get some help from my dad that should tide me over till next month. Hopefully, by then, I'll be working at a regular job. However, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure that that will solve the problem. I recently got an offer to teach online. Everything so far online has been a slightly lower pay in-person teaching, making me want to avoid online education. This is recent offer was less than half the salary that I usually make teaching。 My response to that was to say that if they don't expect anything other than me chatting with the kid for an hour, then, by all means, I can do it. Still, if they want real lessons presented online as you would do in an actual class, then no, I'm not going to take less than half。 A lot of work。 Just strange to think about this idea that you should make less for online teaching. An hour of my time is an hour of my time regardless of where I do it. There's only some slight difference in the fact that I don't have to go anywhere, which is a little more convenient. Still, it's not worth taking a 20% pay cut, and it's certainly not worth taking a 60% pay cut, so I'm not really sure why people think they ought to get it. They aren't Payless online 4 this service.

I've heard that the parents don't believe that the online classes are as good as in-person classes, and by golly there right. They're not, which is why I don't want to do online courses. I never endorsed them. They ask for online courses. During the pandemic, that's all you can manage. That's all we can do. I understand, but that's why they need to realize that the in-person classes aren't an option, so it's the exact cost. It's the same cost. they know the teachers are desperate 4 work, so they're want to try and get a discount because they feel like we have to take it, but I got to be honest, if they're looking for teachers for this kid, then I'm not that desperate because that means there are others out there 

 All right, so that's the update on the situation. I have another update on my travel vlog, which I'm hoping to put together at some point. Still, honestly, I can't really put it. I can't really do a travel Vlog until I have some money that can't come from the travel vlog, so I need to start regular work. Still, I have about 6 years worth of travel around Asia to put videos together, and that's what I've been doing. Now they're just retrospective videos. They're basically slideshows of my time in China, but they are good practice videos. About five years of life in China, if I have been making them at the time, I would have made a lot more, but honestly, that just wasn't an option.

When I first showed up in China, it was not. I did not have a working phone. My computer was a netbook that was Far Below the standard needed to edit videos. It really just was not a feasible option at the time. Phone cameras were not as good. Phone batteries not as good. At least the ones I can afford. So there wasn't really an option of doing this whole travel blogging thing at the time. Of course, in retrospect, you try and imagine: I could have done this; I could have done that, but the truth is I don't have the money to make it work. I have been slowly accumulating everything that I need over the years to do it. I now have a computer that can do it. It's a pretty decent computer. As long as it lasts, it'll be able to edit videos. I have a good phone now, so I can really start. Maybe I could have started earlier this year. Perhaps I could have started last year. But honestly, I don't think we're to a point where traveling is a good idea in the pandemic. It's not that I'm concerned about my own safety. I feel like I'll probably be fine; I just don't think it's the responsible thing to do. I look at the travel bloggers on YouTube I was watching before the pandemic started. I thought they did a pretty good job. I enjoyed watching them at the time, but when I saw their behavior during the pandemic, their behavior was unbelievable. Traveling internationally because that's what's best for me," at a time when it just was not necessary. Taking the chance of spreading the disease across the planet just so that you can do your travel blog is an unbelievable attitude to have. I just couldn't process how anybody could be so self-centered. Astounding to me, and I pretty much stopped following most travel blogs when that happened. I get it's their bread and butter, but that's what sacrifice means. You have to accept the personal sacrifice you have to make when there's a disease like this. Yes, many countries are encouraging people to come because they were desperate for tourist dollars. Still, you have to see how irresponsible it is to travel when this thing is going on. Anyone paying attention could've understood that they should settle down in one place, knowing that they're not going to do the same thing they've been doing for the next couple of years. Yet, so many of them didn't. They just got waivers, and they did the things they had to do and then got out there and kept traveling around the world, presumably some of them spreading this disease right and left. I don't want to be that person.

 Having said all that, the point of this post is that I'm trying to move towards a place where I can do the travel vlog when it's feasible responsible good idea. That's not yet, but I think traveling around Vietnam will be the first thing. I'm hoping that that will be something that I can do while teaching at a regular job and earning a salary. My time in China has taught me that being an ESL teacher leaves you with a lot of spare time. Public School schools tend to be closed on holidays. When I worked at the high school in Chenzhou, I had 3-day weekends. Which allowed me to explore and travel. even when I didn't make a big salary, I could explore Chenzhou and see many things around that area. But one thing at a time right now. I just need to find regular work even if I'm just teaching at a few night classes as I was doing b4. I really want to get back to that so that I don't have to freak out about money constantly, as I'm currently doing. 

The End of the Road?

 It's 8:30 at night and 34 degrees, though it feels much hotter. The humidity is through the roof. I should get used to it. I grew up in Georgia. I guess I am used to it, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. Days are nearly unbearable. I'm almost glad that I ran out of money and so can't leave my apartment. I ran out of money about a week ago. Still, I guess I should rewind to the beginning of the story. On May 1st, May Day, International Labor Day, We had some time off work, and many people traveled. Some people travel internationally. Apparently, two Taiwanese businessmen flew to Danang. One of them was carrying one of the new covid strains, apparently. It quickly spread around the country, and Vietnam was in the grips of a covid wave that was much worse than what we had last year. For a few weeks, the country was under a soft lockdown. schools closed. cafes and restaurants stayed open. It seems as if they didn't expect the virus to spread all that fast, but it did by the end of May. Rather than easing the lockdown and returning to normal as everyone had expected, the government increased restrictions. cafes and restaurants could only offer take-out. All Bars were closed. everything was closed. Even public parks were roped off. which lasted for the majority of June. a few days ago, the lockdown was eased, and we returned to a soft lockdown. Unfortunately, I'm a teacher, and schools have not been open since the very beginning of all this. Since I'm not a regular employee of any school, I have not received a paycheck in 2 months. I will not receive one next month because I haven't been working, and there's no indication of when the lockdown will be over. all the publicly available data shows that the infection rate has not dropped. In fact, a couple of days ago, it went through the roof. Saturday was the highest number of new infections in a single day since this began. I would not be surprised if we actually return to a harsher lockdown, but I'm not sure that that's even doing any good. The new strains are so highly contagious that they seem to be spreading even with nothing open. I say this because we spent almost 2 months in some form of lockdown. There has been very little human interaction, and it's not slowing the virus down at all. It seems to be speeding up. I don't know what's going to happen with the lockdown. Still, I know I'm backed into a corner now with my personal finances since I expected the lockdown would only last a few weeks, like the first two. I didn't make much in the way of arrangements. I didn't find an online job. I don't know if I could've. I have not been pursuing that job in China for all the reasons I previously opted not to pursue. The primary of those reasons is that it will take me months to get there and requires money. I can't just wave a wand and be in China. There's still a 3-week quarantine I have to pay for. There's also at least a couple of months just to wait on the paperwork. I'm literally down to $15 after I pay rent this month. There's no paycheck coming at the beginning of next month. It's only a few days away now. This is stressful. I really don't know what the solution is except to ask for money from my father. He's already sent me some money multiple times for the past year and a half, and I don't really want to ask again. Still, I can't really see any other options. more than one relative, including him, has already mentioned that I ought to come back to the United States. Still, I can't imagine what they're thinking will happen. if I don't have enough money to go to China for a job that pays way more than I would ever make in the US What makes them think I have the money to go back to the US? I have no place to live in the U.S. I have no transportation in the US. We all know the US does not have any sort of public transportation system or cheap way to get around of any type. you have to go out and buy a car for several thousand dollars, and then you have to put in maintenance and gas and insurance. Where is this money coming from in their imaginings? do they think that I'm sitting on funds, and I just didn't tell anybody about it? it doesn't make any sense, but my fear in asking for help is that I'm going to get the response, "well, you know so-and-so is hiring up the street," which isn't even the point. Though it certainly will pay less money than I would make in China, the cost of living is through the roof in the US. I don't have any plans to go back to the United States, and I hope I never have to. it's just too costly to live there, and the reason it's costly is that that's the way the public wants it. Obviously, I could write a lot more on this issue, which deserves a discussion. but for now, the point is that the situation in the United States is not set to change. It's a place that pays low salaries and is outrageously expensive to live in. I don't understand how other people make it. I don't want to go back to trying this impossible task of making $7 an hour and paying $1,500 a month for a studio apartment. Well, I guess that's it. just the situation here right now. I had not planned to write about that tonight. I was hoping to and started off thinking I would write in more of a story format. I can't think of anything else. this is the most worried I've been since the pandemic started. I think because I don't see how this ends well, I guess I'm holding out hope. I'm not asking for help because I need to know the date I'll return to work to calculate how much it will take to get me through to the next paycheck. Maybe it will make sense to ask for help. right now, I have no idea how much to ask. that in itself is keeping me from progressing.